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The Latest One-Liner Page


Dead Woman Walking
Jack's One-Liners

10.  "While your down there, do a guy a favour will ya? .......polish my buttons"

9.   "We are about to be hickory smoked"

8.   "Ok..........Ok" (The Dragoon at a loss for words?)

7.   "Talk about a Jack in the box"

6.   "Masked weasel?......Up Yours!"

5.   "I haven't been this screwed in a long time"

4.   "You tip every garden variety shop keeper but when it comes to giving ol' Jack an advance on his paycheck your fist tightens up like a nun at a sausage factory"

3.   "I was hoping to be reincarnated as Marie Antoinette's bar of soap"

2.   "Don't just lie there, PUMP!"

1.   "That's it pump it baby!"




Em's One-Liners

She only had one on her own, see the Jack & Em banter for her good ones

1.   "If you fail, I will eat your brain!"b




Jack & Em Banter


Em:  "We're done Jack!"

Jack:  "I'd say we're about medium rare"


Em:   "Today is Saturday, I thought we'd go down to the market and purchase accessories for our new wardrobes"

Jack: "He he...or you could stick icepicks under my toenails"

Em:  "Well it's your choice, i'm game for either"


Em:  "We'll just have to keep coming back till we succeed"

Jack:  "What if the imposter never shows up?"

Em:  "Then you'll never sleep in your own bed again"

Jack:  "Don't tease me!"


Jack: "You got enough fabric in that boudoir of yours to carpet Manhattan"

Em: "While your under garments have lightly petrified like a Neolithic fossil from overuse"

Jack:  "Hey, stay outta my drawers sister and I mean that both ways! "


Em:  "Hold still Jack! Let the seamstress take your measurements" 

Jack:  "I would but she's gonna need a longer tape measure"

Em:  "Sleep walking again are we?"


Em:  "Nothing could be worse than waking up beside you!"

Jack:  "That's what they all first!"



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