Daddy Dearest

6. "Take a number fellas, cus everyone gets a turn"

5. When asked if he was impressed by Em's father "Of course, but I'm not about to admit it"

4. "Well looky what we have here, a circle of jerks"

3. In response to putting laxative in the English army food "You should have seen them red coats run"

2. "Personally I have a rule never to release my gas in public"

1. "Don't get too attatched, she's just gonna leave you for a bigger cockatu"

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Raging Bully

3. "Stuff him in a pillow case and we have a piniata party"

2. In response to Captn. Brogard dreaming of this momment "Which one of us was Little BoPeep"

1. "Sorry Emperor, you won't be getting any head today"

Extras thanks to MacGuyver..

"Now, sit down, Nappy; before I spank ya!"

"I WAS going to crash through the window, but since you're expecting me; I figured, 'What the hell'."

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The People's Dragoon

9. "Don't look now but your barn door is open and your cows are gettin out"

8. "I was wondering when we were gonna play doctor"

7. "Turn off the faucet sister I wasn't born yesterday"

6. "Oh my sense of duty gives me such a headache" (rubbing temples)

5. "Now thats what I call a french toast"

4. "Not if it means free booze"

3. "Well they say rubber is 99% effective"

2. "Take your head out and stay awhile LePew, looks like you could use the air"

1. "Don't make me use my stuff on you baby"
NOTE: This was #1 because it reminded me of the great ASH

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Once You Go Jack

6. After dropping a french soldier in a barrel "good to the last drop"

5. "It's a beautiful day, the smell of violence is in the air, what could possibly go wrong!"

4. "If I were any more civilised i'd be wearin a dress"

3. "Minute man?? C'mon baby I was a five minute man, at least"

2. "I'm the itch you can't scratch, the gas you can't pass"

1. Had to be......       "Once you go Jack, you never go back"

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Floundering Father

#6   In response to not seeing 3 dimentionally "Oh I do, what are you 36-24-36?"

#5   "You know me, I never pass up a 'sail'"

#4   "I'm trying to PROPULSE!"

#3   In response to God being female "That would explain why we are always trying to please her and nothing we do is good enough"

#2   "You can't pass for a French soldier with those Jubblies...."

And last but not least..

#1   In response to Em's 'Jubblies' not being detatchable "Too bad, they'd make a nice addition to my teddy bear"

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